Following the local tradition, this was actually the second wedding for the couple-- the first was held a few month's ago in the bride's hometown. However, the fact that it wasn't the first or only celebration did nothing to lessen the scale of the party preparations on the part of the groom's family. When we arrived, a large tent had been set up in the family's front yard, and was full of men hanging decorations and children cleaning tables and chairs. Meanwhile, in the back yard, the groom's mother, sister, aunts, and female cousins were chopping vegetables, stirring massive fire-black kettles, cutting meat, and washing endless cycles of dishes-- activities that Andrea said had been going on all week, and which would continue throughout the weekend. Innards of the two cows and one sheep the family had slaughtered for the celebration were hanging out to dry on the fence post (they make up the traditional night-before-the-wedding dinner, although we chose to eat pasta with Andrea and Adam instead...).
Saturday morning, the dawn was broken by the joyful ululations of the women of the groom's family: the bride and her family, having driven all night in a red minibus, picking people up along the way, had arrived. As out-of-town guests continued to show up throughout the morning, the ululations continued as well, as they did throughout the ceremony itself. A bit after 10, we heard clapping and singing, and went outside to find two groups slowly, rhythmically, melodically making their way toward each other: the women of the groom's family, with him in the center, moving from their yard outward on the village road, and the women of the bride's family, with her in the center, moving from the village road in toward the house. Eventually the two groups met, with ululations and song resounding; then they all turned together to walk to the tent the bride and groom in front of the group, and a couple women symbolically sweeping the path before them with brooms made of brush.
For the first wedding, the bride and groom had worn American-style clothes, but for this one they wore variations on traditional attire, to stunning effect. His shirt and the top layer of her dress were mocha-colored matte silk, while his pants and the under layer of her dress were the same material in a clear sky blue. She had a head wrap of the same fabrics, and also wore a double strand of ping pong ball-sized dark wooden beads around her neck, and matching (but smaller) earrings. Both his shirt and her dress were embroidered with almond-sized, cream colored shells. They sat at the front, at a table on a raised platform decorated with miniature cooking pots, impala skins, and gourds, some of which also graced the tables where the guests sat down. The ceremony was conducted entirely in Tsetswana, the local language, but thanks to a program made by Adam, and some translation by Andrea, we could follow what was going on. An Anglican priest performed a length religious ceremony, interrupted at times by songs when one woman would sing out a first line, and then other people would join in, singing in several-part harmony and dancing at their places. Twice the bride and groom were brought out to dance, led around by their cousins. When the priest was through, there were speeches by two of the older aunts, and some of the couples' friends, followed by toasts and prayers. And then... lunch. The women brought out the bucketfuls of food they had been preparing, dishing up groaning plates of pap (a heavy maize porridge), rice, mutton, and beef, with dottings of vegetables as accompaniment. While the tent had not been completely full when the wedding started, by lunch people were packed in and spilling out into the yard; invitations are not issued, so much of the population of the village comes out for the meal. Indeed, people continued showing up, sitting around, and eating well into the night, and the families stuck around throughout the following day as well-- all of this with no catering, just home cooking! Eek.
On Sunday we were able to see more of the village and hear more from Andrea and Adam about some of the issues they have faced there. They have four schools, one in Manyeding and three in other villages, on their circuit, and have found that the quality of the schools varies massively, according to the will of the teachers and principals-- unfortunately, there is basically no accountability from above. The government has provided some decent resources-- we were particularly impressed by sets of books on AIDS and anti-Apartheid leaders-- but the utilization of these resources is weak. Andrea and Adam have painted world maps, with every country labeled, on a wall of each of their schools, and are putting together lesson plans to try to avoid a similar fate for that initiative. Some of the other main challenges they talked about in the village are AIDS, alcoholism, and unemployment; general health and brain drain are also on the list.
The combination of sometimes feeling total despair at problems that seem insurmountable, and sometimes feeling inspired and moved by the strengths that exist despite so many problems, is something we empathize with from our own work in Hartford. More than once, though, Andrea and Adam told us that although they will not be able to have the largescale impact they dreamed of when they signed up for Peace Corps, the positive effects of their time in the village on both their host family and other villagers, and, especially, on them, have been great. It is stereotypical, but true: knowing people changes your perceptions of them; knowing other lifestyles changes your perceptions of your own life. It is a great threat to prejudice; it could stop war. If only everyone could have an experience like that.
Want to read more? Adam and Andrea's blog is www.thaboandlerato.blogspot.com.
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