Adventures in the Kitchen

Just in case any of you are worried that while we´re cavorting around the world we´re not giving enough thought to our future, you can rest easy: Erik and I are ready to begin work on the prospectus for our new Food Network reality show, "insert your name suggestion here." The focus of the show will be on the travails and creative victories of cooking in hostel kitchens, with whatever culinary, equipment, and personnel challenges that may involve. The trailer for the show may zoom in on the kitchen at Vallodolid, where Rachel and Erik, rosy-cheeked and optimistic after a successful trip to the supermarket, return to the hostel to find the kitchen overrun by French teenagers, who are not only overwhelmingly energetic but are also monopolizing all four burners as they concoct what appears to be a perfect French stew, including a bottle of white wine for braising the chicken. This shot will be followed by a visual of the same kitchen an hour later, when the water for the city has been shut off and all hostel residents are crouched over buckets, using up the hostel´s tanked water supply in the attempt to both wash and rinse their dishes. The full-length pilot for the show, though, will no doubt take place in the kitchen in Mexico City. An internet search conducted before arrival prompts our heroes to choose this hostel because of the central location and the kitchen advertised on the website. Soon after arrival, Rachel and Erik again venture off to the market, filling their bag with fruits, vegetables, cheese, and tortillas. That evening they head with abandon into the kitchen, preparedto cook up a feast, only to find that the "kitchen" does not contain any cooking equipment-- no knives, no plates, no pots, nothing. Upon going to the front desk to complain, Rachel is told by the manager on duty that of course there is nothing in the kitchen, you have to bring your own. Rachel accuses the hostel of false advertising, a claim that seems to hold no weight with the manager, but her tantrum does gain them the use of two plates and cutlery sets from the hostel restaurant. Somewhat satisfied, they head upstairs for cold tortillas with avocado and cheese, and mango for dessert. The next evening, now knowing what to expect, Rachel and Erik return to the kitchen prepared to enjoy another of the same meal. They sit down at the table and open the shopping bags they´d left, labeled with their names, in the fridge... to find that someone has stolen their cheese and taken a large slice off their remaining mango! Oh, the flying sparks! Rachel curses the thief, who probably also has her Red Sox hat, and hopes the cheese makes him sick, while Erik laughs and calmly eats his tortilla and avocado sandwich. And then, on kitchen attempt 3, our viewers bear witness, at last, to a kitchen victory. Having learned from another resident that there is, indeed, one communal pot, Erik borrows some matches from the surly manager to light the stove and cleans a bunch of spinach, and Rachel, armed only with your average eating knife, determinedly and jaggedly slices two onions; half an hour later, a fragrant and colorful vegetable dish is bubbling away, making for tortillas that taste gourmet to the dogged cooks. The pilot closes with a shot of Rachel and Erik toasting each other with their (borrowed) glasses of shockingly ripe Mexican wine. Producers, anyone?